Friday, February 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
UG! False Alarm!
I never wanted to have a false alarm labor beginning... Of course, it happened and I am embarrassed. Ug! I didn't want to go to the hospital to be seen just in case it wasn't, but the midwife said "Go, now!" so I went... What can I say? I have no control over what happens with this up coming labor and birth so I might as well go with the punches... I think I have dropped so am wondering how long it is accually going to be... Not long I guess.
As for the Braxton Hicks... They now come less often. The ones I do have are not pleasant by any means. And Kai's little rear end keeps sticking up in uncomflrtable places. Okay, I am ready to be done now!
As for the Braxton Hicks... They now come less often. The ones I do have are not pleasant by any means. And Kai's little rear end keeps sticking up in uncomflrtable places. Okay, I am ready to be done now!
The Time Is Coming...
This evening I was at school thinking about the time I have left until my due date and how close it really is. It is so exciting and awe striking to think my son could be born tomorrow because he is completely developed... I really hope I am ready for this little one. I am so ready to be done being pregnant but so unsure of my abilities as a good mother.
As the days pass and the day I see Kai's face draws nearer I pray that I can be the mother he deserves. There are so many things in my life that make me feel so unworthy of the miracle of motherhood. I fall more and more in love with Kai everyday, and I hope that despite the mistakes I may make in raising him that he knows I really love him. The responsibility of guiding the pure spirit and soul of my child toward the path of godliness is a responsibility I do not take lightly... All I can do is take each moment as it comes and try not to get worried about how I am going to raise him tomorrow.
Lord, the time is coming that I have to give birth and there are times that I am fearful of this gateway into this new stage of my life. Give me the grace to face the unknown. Bless my son and keep him in Your light.
As the days pass and the day I see Kai's face draws nearer I pray that I can be the mother he deserves. There are so many things in my life that make me feel so unworthy of the miracle of motherhood. I fall more and more in love with Kai everyday, and I hope that despite the mistakes I may make in raising him that he knows I really love him. The responsibility of guiding the pure spirit and soul of my child toward the path of godliness is a responsibility I do not take lightly... All I can do is take each moment as it comes and try not to get worried about how I am going to raise him tomorrow.
Lord, the time is coming that I have to give birth and there are times that I am fearful of this gateway into this new stage of my life. Give me the grace to face the unknown. Bless my son and keep him in Your light.
Monday, February 22, 2010
School
Today school is not one of the things I would like to have on my list. Traffic is crazy in Boston so driving to school is never uneventful. Drivers up here are so rude and recklessly confident but not very skilled so one can't drive in peace... I always feel like I am on foot in a stampede of crazy buffalo racing for Boston...
The drive home isn't any better. Drivers shine their brights in your mirriors if you aren't driving fast or low enough or just for kicks... One and a half hours of bright headlights directed into your retinas is the surest way of getting a massive headache...
Well, on a possitive note about school I managed to get 105% on my last 2 tests. I must say that it was a surprise due to having plecenta brain :)
I only have 4 weeks until this school quarter is done and 3 1/2 weeks until my due date. Crazy.... I am going to be a mother.... The thought of it is still so strange to me. Wow!
The drive home isn't any better. Drivers shine their brights in your mirriors if you aren't driving fast or low enough or just for kicks... One and a half hours of bright headlights directed into your retinas is the surest way of getting a massive headache...
Well, on a possitive note about school I managed to get 105% on my last 2 tests. I must say that it was a surprise due to having plecenta brain :)
I only have 4 weeks until this school quarter is done and 3 1/2 weeks until my due date. Crazy.... I am going to be a mother.... The thought of it is still so strange to me. Wow!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
My Maker
As I am sitting on my bed folding laundry and feeling my unborn child move within me makes me think of Psalm 139: 11-16 which reads:
"If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (NKJV)
I also like this version:
"Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you. Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day." (The Message)
I think of my son and am in awe that God has seen all that he will do before he has even even taken one breath of air. My spirit is so lifted by the thought of it.
I have looked at my life and all the things that have brought me to where I am now, and I often pray that my son has a lighter path to walk on than I have had. My motherly instinct is to hold him from the hardships of living a noteworthly life but I know that is not how is it meant to be because God takes us through our hardships as a test to see if we will stand by Him when our faith is at low tide so He can fill us with His grace.
I love my Maker. He is a good God.
"If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (NKJV)
I also like this version:
"Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you. Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day." (The Message)
I think of my son and am in awe that God has seen all that he will do before he has even even taken one breath of air. My spirit is so lifted by the thought of it.
I have looked at my life and all the things that have brought me to where I am now, and I often pray that my son has a lighter path to walk on than I have had. My motherly instinct is to hold him from the hardships of living a noteworthly life but I know that is not how is it meant to be because God takes us through our hardships as a test to see if we will stand by Him when our faith is at low tide so He can fill us with His grace.
I love my Maker. He is a good God.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
35 Weeks...
Well, today school was cancelled due to the snow storm... I almost drove to school but one of my classmates called before I left my driveway. I was so glad she called! Having nothing to do all day is not something that happens very often lately so I decided to write something. I haven't been really good at keeping up with writing but I will write more often once I have a break from school.
I am going on week 35 ofmy pregnancy and the end is drawing nearer and nearer. I am getting to the point I want to be done, but I am trying to find things that busy my mind and keep my spirits up dispite how uncomfortable I feel. I am also getting a little anxious at times and trying to keep my worries of a complicated labor and delivery at bay isn't aways easy, but last Sunday Mary Ann said the sweetest prayer for me and it just made me feel so loved and my worries of my pregnancy finish line seemed to totally drop away.
I am trying to finish the last few things that need to be done before the baby gets here cause it seems I am running out of time... I really can't wait to see he face and hold him in my arms... When I was growing up I used to dream about being a mom and now it is right around the corner. It all seems so unreal sometimes. I thank God for the gift of motherhood.
I am going on week 35 ofmy pregnancy and the end is drawing nearer and nearer. I am getting to the point I want to be done, but I am trying to find things that busy my mind and keep my spirits up dispite how uncomfortable I feel. I am also getting a little anxious at times and trying to keep my worries of a complicated labor and delivery at bay isn't aways easy, but last Sunday Mary Ann said the sweetest prayer for me and it just made me feel so loved and my worries of my pregnancy finish line seemed to totally drop away.
I am trying to finish the last few things that need to be done before the baby gets here cause it seems I am running out of time... I really can't wait to see he face and hold him in my arms... When I was growing up I used to dream about being a mom and now it is right around the corner. It all seems so unreal sometimes. I thank God for the gift of motherhood.
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